“Open yourself to even the silliest thoughts, and write every raw, tangential, strange thing that comes into your mind, without judgment, in your first draft. Feel the scene; write from your body, from your deepest soul. Write it all down and don’t look back.” --Sybil Lockhart Writer Advice
Journaling for Caregivers
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Unique Perspective
An interview with Sybil Lockhart
by B. Lynn Goodwin
How is your brain wired? Can you imagine its inner workings? Sybil Lockhart’s unique memoir, Mother in the Middle, makes it possible to observe three generations of women’s brains.
Her honest, compassionate memoir shows her life as a UC Berkeley neurobiologist, a wife, a mother, and a daughter struggling with denial and acceptance. Using a unique combination of neurobiology, personal experience, and evocative prose, she contrasts her baby and toddler’s growth with her mother’s descent into the insidious confusion of Alzheimer’s. She mixes in a healthy dose of her own needs, desires, and unique insights as she sheds new light on the sandwich generation.
Starting with a Friday night visit from Ma, Lockhart shares cooking, shopping, lab experiences, parenting, and nights beside her husband with heart, empathy and beauty. She intersperses her life in Boston and Berkeley with metaphors that make brain science accessible to all of us. Her debut novel is “a unique
Mother in the Middle juxtaposes scientific detachment against the human emotions of guilt, denial, and frustration. Her honesty is amazing. Here she shares the experiences and advice.
LG: Tell us about yourself. When did you know you needed to write and when did you realize that your Literary Mama columns could lead you to a memoir?
SL: After I made the decision to leave my teaching job at UC Berkeley to stay home with my second baby, I began to feel very isolated--I was isolated. Of course, I had friends outside of work, but they were all at work themselves. So, I spent my days either alone with the baby, or struggling to help my mom, with the baby in tow.
I began writing about the experience in my journal, just as I had always written about everything in my journal, but somehow this time the writing turned into a way to reach out to others in my situation. I eventually joined a writing group, and we created a website, Literary Mama, www.literarymama.com to showcase our neophyte work; we all became columnists there. When an editor from Seal Press approached two columnists to suggest they turn their columns into books, the rest of us were inspired to try too!
LG: How did your background in neurobiology help you cope with your mother’s aging? Did it ever get in the way?
SL: My knowledge of neuroscience both helped me and hurt me. My biologist's perspective definitely empowered me in the doctor's office, for example: I knew what questions to ask, how to find more information, and how to understand that information. I could also really appreciate the beauty of the processes at work, the astounding complexity of the biological systems underpinning both my mother's dementia and my daughters' development.
On the other hand, I knew the story of her destruction in such painful detail; I understood far too well how devastating the unhealthy processes at work in Ma's brain would ultimately be. That was truly hard.
LG: I never thought about the knowledge such a layer would add. Despite your scientific background, did you need to do research for this book?
SL: Yes, absolutely. I hadn't studied Alzheimer's in much detail before. Although my mother's diagnosis inspired me to do some pretty extensive research, when I wrote the book, I felt I had to go back to the primary research literature to make sure I had everything right. Also, in order to describe some less well-known forms of dementia and understand how alcohol may have complicated the picture for Ma, I needed more information.
LG: How did you decide how much science to include, where it belonged, and how to write it so it would be accessible to lay people?
SL: I am not entirely convinced that my integration of science into the narrative was completely successful; that was one of the biggest challenges of this book. I’m continuing to develop my science writing skills through my blog “Fearsome” at www.PsychologyToday.com, where I often find myself translating hard science into language more suitable to the layperson.
LG: I love the way you use flashbacks. How did you pick your starting and ending scenes and how did you organize this story?
SL: The story is fairly chronological, but I wanted the first scene to plop the reader right into middle of the story—into the complicated, busy life of a caregiver with children, and all the inherent conflicting emotions. So the book starts in the middle, then flashes back and proceeds chronologically—more or less. But in a story about three generations of family affected by a disease that steals our memory, how can one avoid flashbacks?
As I mothered my own children and began to be a kind of parent to my mother, I often contemplated our mothering roles, which naturally brought back so many relevant scenes from my childhood; these very organically popped up as flashbacks throughout the book.
LG: What is it like to use family members as characters? Did you have any struggles over what you should and should not include? How has your family reacted to the book?
SL: My husband Patrick was initially very uncomfortable with the idea of being made a character in my book. After I finished the manuscript, I gave it to him to read. He asked that I remove certain scenes and facts, but not that much. I think he was very generous—what is left is still a very raw and honest portrait of our struggles at the time.
When I asked my sister, Alice, she told me not to worry about it; she understood that my memories were mine, and they might differ from hers. She was supremely supportive of my right to record my experience however I wished.
My daughters were just thrilled to be in it. Zoë, who is now twelve, I am sure would NOT be okay with being featured in a book today, but as a toddler, it was fine!
LG: Your description of everything from the functions of the brain to the hills of Martinez is lyrical. Any tips for writing exquisite prose?
SL: Thank you! Here is my advice: Open yourself to even the silliest thoughts, and write every raw, tangential, strange thing that comes into your mind, without judgment, in your first draft. Feel the scene; write from your body, from your deepest soul. Write it all down and don’t look back.
Then, get a writing group. Surround yourself with brilliant, sensitive, honest, generous, supportive, intelligent, insightful people, and ask them to read your raw, ragged, imperfect writing. Ask them to tell you what is good in it; ask them to tell you if anything gives them a tug. Be fearless, and remain open. Focus on what is good first.
Later, a few drafts later maybe, ask them to tell you what they think you might do to make it better. Be unafraid to edit, but keep old drafts, in case you over-do it and need to go back. This should give you an excellent start!
LG: Excellent advice. How did you find your agent? What advice would you give to writers seeking an agent?
SL: I was writing my column, Mama in the Middle, for Literary Mama Magazine, when I was approached by an editor from Seal Press who told me she thought I had a book in me. I wrote a very strong proposal. There are many books that tell how to do this; I followed their advice.
The next week this editor handed me a contract specifying a very small advance and told me I had a very short time to decide whether to sign on the dotted line! I freaked! I could not parse the legalese.
So, I did a kind of speed-dating search for an agent. I asked all my friends for their recommendations, and I looked at the acknowledgements of my favorite like-minded memoir writers to see if they loved their agents. I sent emails with my 100-word pitch, asking if anyone on that list would be willing to read my proposal and look at this contract, to see if I was getting a decent deal.
My agent is with David Black, who received praise from Elizabeth Cohen in her acknowledgment section. We got a much better deal in the end!
LG: What advice would you give to people who want to write memoir?
SL: Write from the heart, include the gory details, and don’t worry that it might have "already been done," because memoir readers are interested in your unique perspective. If you are an expert at anything at all, or have anything unique that you can claim as your own special angle, sell that in your proposal, but in the end it is really your voice that matters the most.
LG: What are you working on now? Where can people learn more about you?
SL: At the moment most of my time is taken up teaching writing to middle school and high school students, but I am also creating something. It is a kind of daily journal populated with my own drawings and "deep thoughts." It's something I would love to read, but I have no idea whether anyone else in the world will be interested! If I have any big news, I will post it at www.sybillockhart.com. Write me at sybil-AT-sybillockhart-DOT com.
LG: Thanks so much for sharing your story.
Mother in the Middle is a strong, unique story and an important book for everyone watching their parents age.
Whether she is describing a setting, a feeling, or a brain function Lockhart’s lyrical prose will grab you. Don’t miss this universal and unique story. Sybil Lockhart is a promising author.
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